This message excerpt shows us one reason we need others to help us step into our soul purpose. We need others to help make our lives count. –Pastor Matt
The Purpose of Snow
“You can’t build a reputation on what you’re going to do.”
– Henry Ford, Founder of the Ford Motor Company
With my apologies to all who have been negatively affected by the huge recent snowfalls, I have been blessed by the snow. The snow has allowed me (or forced me into) the opportunity of doing what I really needed to do, but would ordinarily be too busy to do. Being snowed in, has allowed me to think about my life without having to worry about doing as much in my life. It has allowed me to organize (file and trash) mounds of papers representing “one-of-these-days” ideas. It has given me the opportunity to plan ahead and begin a schedule for things I really want to do in this next year.
One of those things is this blog. Some of you know, that I’ve been stuck in the “going-to-write-a-blog stage” since Al Gore invented the internet. Well, thanks to the snow (and God who provided it!) I’m blogging. May this be the beginning of the end for many of my dreams. Lived-out goals are so much better (although messier) than fuzzy, never-going-to-get-there dreams.
Tomorrow, I’ll tell you about one of my really specific, but doable goals for 2010 that I need your help on.
So…what has the snow provided you the opportunity to begin (or do more of) that you ordinarily would not get to do?
–Pastor Matt
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A ‘Counting’ Pastor?
God may have taught me more from Psalm 90 than any other passage of Scripture.
This year I caught myself at an unusually low point. I was unmotivated after an intense season of emotional and mental toil with no fruit and lots of losses to show for my efforts.
I asked God to help me discover why I had been so lazy and what actually motivated me in the core of my being. (What is purpose of my soul?) Why is it that at some spells in my life I have been able to work like crazy and other times I have avoided work like the plague — doing the barest minimum to financially survive or to keep people from bugging me?
God directed my thoughts to a short story I had written in high school entitled “Pawn of Love.” In this story I expressed what may be my personally all-time frustration with this fallen world: I can work myself to the bone, I can minister to others with the deepest concern and love possible, and still ALL of my efforts can be thrown back in my face, because, at least in this lifetime, there is:
* No guarantee that a CERTAIN ACTION = CERTAIN OUTCOME/RESULT.
I love playing games which involved strategy. One in particular I have played often enough to have time to study all the choices I need to take at every junction to ensure victory and remove luck from the equation. Sometimes I get on a roll and make good decisions and obliterate my opponents. Sometimes I make bad decisions and lose. Most frustrating though are those times when I make good, calculating decisions - have a clear advantage (so I think) - and still lose. Mathematically, I should not have, but I did. The uncontrollable “luck” factor worked against me. AND I ABSOLUTELY HATE THAT.
It’s not just in games that I hate that, I hate that in life. I hate that in life doing x doesn’t guarantee y. I hate that, as diligently as I tried to minister to and disciple this family and that person, it is seemingly all for naught. I hate that some people grow and others flounder regardless of whether I lead well or pathetically. I hate that my business and ministry sometimes succeed or fail based on flukes, not my efforts. That uncertainty makes me reluctant to plunge ahead into years of work pursuing the business or ministry dream, because it just may not all pan out.
I really relate with the psalmist’s thought in Psalm 90:17:
Let the favor of the Lord our God be on us;
establish for us the work of our hands-
establish the work of our hands!
Ever since Adam, we humans have used our creative, diligent, dreaming “image-of-God” abilities to set a goal and go after it. Ever since Adam, we humans have knocked our heads against the curse of a fallen world which causes our efforts and sweat to come up fruitless. So we plead, God, would Your favor be on us, please?! Would you ESTABLISH our work - really make it last!? I don’t care how big or small my particular life assignment is, I just want it to last - to stick - to matter for a LONG TIME.
* Another demotivater for me is that I’ve been trying to operate outside of my God-given personality. We all have personal dilemmas. Mine has always been an inner wondering as to whether I was really a statistician or a pastor. Counter or Pastor? Not very alike, are they?
If you go into fulltime ministry you’re supposed to do certain things (and not do others). You’re supposed to be certain things (and not others). You’re supposed to to be motivated by certain things (and not others). And that last one (motivation) is something that’s been lacking in me. Part of the problem is that I’ve been putting on someone else’s motivational clothes rather than my own.
Pastors are supposed to visit hospitals and the sick and do tons of counseling and just “be there” for everyone. They’re supposed to be compassionate and intuitive about everyone’s feelings. They’re supposed to just care for people, not numbers or growth or success. They’re not supposed to be competitive.
However, then there’s me…I am not doubting my ministerial call, but as I think back on my life as a boy - I’ve never looked the ministerial type. I was aloof and independent. I did not understand the point of the Sunday morning “small talk” in the church lobby. (Why ask how another is doing when you really just want to say “Hi”? Why say “Hi” when we both know that we each see each other standing there?) I spoke when I had something to say (which wasn’t often). I almost never longed for others to play with. I could amuse myself for hours in my room fiddling with baseball stats and drawing up charts and other games that involved a mathematical amusement that I have always had, and very few others seemed to share or understand.
My “vocational interest” inventory, taken right before my freshman year at college, shows that though I had a high interest in “Religious Activities” and scored high in public speaking. I also scored high in law/politics and the three occupations most similar to my interests were: INVESTMENTS MANAGER, ACCOUNTANT, BANKER. MINISTER was just an average “interest” for me.
I’ve noticed before that I love attempting to reduce every thing down to a number. I’m motivated by studying charts and numbers and seeing what changes here create subsequent changes over there. I love seeing what makes things grow incrementally and in multiples. I can’t explain it, I just love it - always have - always will.
And that’s when it hit me: God made me this way. He did not make me a feeler. He made me a counter. He could have given me a creative, compassionate personality if He so desired, but for reasons of His choosing - He made me extremely rational and focused on the definiteness of numbers.
For some reason, He also called me to be a pastor; but, based on how He has uniquely designed me, I believe He wants me to be a COUNTING PASTOR.
A business colleague once remarked that he got depressed and discouraged about our sales business except when he came back from a conference or listened to one of the motivational tapes. I remarked that if he knew that about himself he should keep a pile of tapes ready to play. A mature person takes responsibility for his own motivation.
Now it’s your turn, Matt. What keeps you motivated?
Well, that’s at easy. It’s always been when there are numbers involved. I love tracking attendance. I love seeing which factors make the numbers go up. I care more about our community when I’m studying demographic reports than I do visiting the hospital. I care about the spiritual health and vitality of each of our members, but even that I want to “reduce” down to a numerical survey of some type so I can better study it, measure it, and see it grow.
Psalm 90:12 Teach us to number our days carefully so that we may develop wisdom in our hearts.
Could it be that God wants me to be obsessed about numbers? Could it be that it’s ok to be driven to “compete” toward numerical spiritual goals? Is it ok if I pursue the Great Commission in terms of statistics?
I think I hear God saying: “YES, That’s how I made you. So go for it!”
* One final demotivator, God. I don’t think people like me when I’m in COUNTING MODE. I am more aloof. I seem more angry. (I’m not, but I’m told I look upset.) I am so focused people think I’m stuck up. I have a numerical game face. People want “pastoral”, and I give them “poker-face”.
I think I hear God saying: “Matt, it doesn’t matter what ‘people’ want. I’m the One Who made you. Be who I’ve called you to be. Operate the way I best designed you to operate. It will work out for you to pastor as long as I want you to pastor. When it stops working out, it’s not because I designed you incorrectly or that you’re functioning in ‘counting’ mode. It’s because I have another assignment for you at that time. I designed you perfectly to complete your particular life assignment. Don’t let other people’s (or your own) expectations get in the way of that.”
So, folks, my personal soul purpose is to be a counting pastor. I hope as I focus on being who I am (a Counting Pastor) that I can help you to be who God has uniquely made you to be.
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